Both warriors have been down with the fever today, a fever that started just this morning with no prior indication whatsoever, not even at 6am when I checked since I co-sleep. This sudden onset of body temperature meant that all plans were ruined today, and that I was really in big trouble because I hadn’t thought of storing any fresh produce to cook for the warriors since they were due to go spend the night at their grandparent’s place. Worse, I just Googled and the nearest supermarket opens only at 10am. Gulp. Duke has his work appointment at 10am and needs to leave the house latest by 9.30am. Double gulp. I guess I would have to wait till the girls were up (they went back to sleep after waking up to a fever at 8.30am) then take both together with me to the supermarket for a quick run of grocery shopping.
So by 9.20am, Duke gave both girls and I a kiss on our foreheads and then left the house for work. Or so I thought. He called me at 9.45am to tell me he’s at the grocers and will get whatever I needed so I didn’t have to lug 2 sick kids together for the groceries. He’s even gotten 8 out of 10 things right in the trolley before I even had to tell him my list. Blessed him, this husband of mine! I was grateful that he postponed his appointment because it was tough enough having to tend to 2 cranky and feverish kids at home, let alone lugging them to a supermarket by myself. And it doesn’t end there. He then comes home with my dinner at 8pm, telling me how amazing I’ve been taking care of the kids, and helped me bathe them without me needing to ask. He then entertained the kids while I went to take a much needed shower.
Which brings me to the topic of my article, Thank goodness for Daddies. Seriously, sometimes I think we don’t give the daddies of the world enough credit. Parenthood or the running of a household isn’t just a mommy’s job, daddies play a huge role as well, and I think both mommies and daddies deserve equal recognition in society as “parents”.
Duke, like many daddy friends I know, are equally capable of taking care of the household and their children. He doesn’t just bring home the cash$$, he (some obviously not everyday, but many a times):
cooks, hangs up the laundry, cleans the house, washes the toilet, does gardening, goes grocery shopping, fixes the lights and whatever problems at home, solves my personal problems, keeps me stay positive and patient when I’m about to explode, protects me from physical and emotional harm, supports my breastfeeding journey (even when other friends and family members have been discouraging), watches my chick flicks with me (in return I watch action films with him), goes into the birthing pool with me just so that I didn’t have to go through the birthing process alone…
He also (all the time):
feeds the kids, takes them out alone to the park or mall (so I can finish my chores or work at home peacefully), stays home with them while I enjoy my outing alone, reads to them, chats with them, sings with them, ties their hair, change their nappies, bathes them, babywears them in a carrier, gives them the green light to do whatever mommy says they shouldn’t be doing (not necessarily a good thing)…
And the list goes on.
Most people (mainly the older generation, and certainly society in general) would have had their mouths hanging to the ground floor just by reading the previous paragraph. A man taking the kids out ALONE? Taking care of the kids at home ALONE? Really??!! Men can do that??!! Heck, even my own father was skeptical the first few times I left the kids with him and Duke. Seriously, whoever came to a conclusion that men (2 in his case) can’t handle 2 kids?
A man is capable of many things if he’s determined and passionate enough about it. Also, if only society didn’t brainwash the male population with the male ego and chauvinism thingy, I’m pretty sure many men would actually be okay to show their, for the lack of a better word, nurturing side. Wouldn’t it be great that men are given a chance to show the world what great parents they are, without being judged by silly social norms? That it’s not unmanly to be able to laugh with your kids, or to wipe their bum, or be kissy-huggy with them in public?
Men have been stereotyped since God knows when to be the breadwinner of the house, to work long hours of the day, come home to eat dinner at the table, ask the children about their day at school, and then go to sleep. Thankfully more and more men nowadays seem to have stepped out of that “norm”, and are now more hands on with raising their children.
In fact, did you know that kids fare better in life when they’ve had constant and strong father figures throughout their childhood? As found here, here and here, it seems that children who consistent and healthy fatherly contact have higher intelligence level and psychological security (assuming the father-daughter relationship is a healthy one anyway).
What’s more, do you also realise that fathers are the first man a daughter learns about the opposite sex from, the first glimpse of what kind of man a son will endeavour to be in the future? Therefore, what a father does in front of his children, will influence them for life. Be a loving husband, his daughters will know how she should be treated by her husband, and his sons will know how to love his wife. Be a healthy person, his children will likely be the same. Be charitable, his children will learn that it’s okay to give to the needy, because what goes around comes around. Be filial to his parents, his children will appreciate his filiality and return the favour when the time comes.
Aren’t fathers just awesome? I really think we need to give more shout-outs to fathers around the world. Men need to know that we women and children appreciate their efforts in parenting, even if it means the children eats instant ramen cooked in yesterday’s left over chicken bone broth. And if I were to be very honest, I sometimes cook instant ramen cooked in yesterday’s bone broth too. LOL.
And really, thank goodness for Daddies, especially the hands-on ones. 🙂