The shittiest Mothers’ Day, and why this too shall pass

Did the title of the blog catch your attention? Good, because that’s NOT the content of this blog post. LOL. But it is, however, a post for Mother’s Day. It’s a special day, so I thought it deserves a special once in a blue moon post. And just a heads up, things were honestly a little shitty, but definitely not the shittiest. Hahahaha

Not that I don’t enjoy blogging anymore, I do, but I can’t exactly justify why I would want to work my brain cells more when I could actually maybe perhaps hopefully get a tiny weeny bit of shut eye for that 30 minutes, which is how long I hope it will take me to finish this post.

 

The girls had a playmate over for dinner so they are quite entertained at the moment. Phew! So while I peacefully nurse Littlest Warrior to sleep in my room, I thought why the heck not post an update on my blog. I really have no idea how the blogger moms do it, I mean how do they find time?! Remember, this happened earlier, it’s not happening in real time.

 

So this happened. We had a whole day out visiting a friend, celebrated a birthday, came back to a toddler melt down session (and have no inkling whatsoever what she wanted), and a baby who is just wailing for you to put her to sleep, like right now. BREATHE IN….. ohmmmmmmm… BREATHE OUT. Yes I can totally handle this, no problem. It’s no big deal really, it happens almost every few days, some days more often than the others. So yeah, I got this. This too shall pass.

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Image credit: https://www.theodysseyonline.com/thistooshallpass

 

Soooooo I quickly nursed Littlest Warrior and while she’s groggy, I gently put her down and pray that she would soothe herself to sleep. Hah! Fat chance. But okay nevermind, she did eventually get to sleep after that. So I dash to Little Warrior who is just having a melt down outside the room. She’s just over exhausted from the long day out (I know, bad bad mommy), and she’s just woken up from a nap in the car and is cranky. She’s so worked up that she doesn’t know what she wants anymore. But hey, that’s okay because let’s remind ourselves that toddlers are still trying to control their emotions, and obviously this one here hasn’t exactly found a way to keep it under control yet. But mommy’s here so everything will be okay. Somehow I am calm and collected. I embraced her, and held her for a whole freaking 20 minutes, just staying there silently while whispering “I love you, mommy’s right here” and hugging her tight while she bawled her eyes out. And while I was consoling her, I smelt it. But try telling a cranky toddler that mommy is about to pass out from smelling her poo for 20 minutes, most likely she isn’t going to get it. So I decided to man it up, hugged her for as long as she needed to calm down, and just pray I don’t faint from the pungeant smell that was filling my nose. This too shall pass, I tell myself.

 

20 minutes finally passed and she was just down to hiccups. So I gently told her that we had to go wash her bum bum, otherwise there might be worms there that’s going to crawl into her bum (I know, but desperate times call for desperate measures). So she goes but she still cries, like she wants to go wash it but she’s too cranky to go get it wash. Toddlers, they are really a totally different ballgame from you and I). But we did get there in the end, all washed and cleaned. 😊

 

We go to the room, because we both knew that she was overstimulated, but tired. Of course sleep was the last thing on her mind. So like any sane mother, I gave her a dose of homeopathic Chamomile, and hope that will help her to settle. She whines and wakes her littlest sister up. Great, now I have to place Littlest Warrior on to my chest and hold her with my left arm, and cuddle Little Warrior with the other arm. Half way through trying to put both to bed, she looks up to me with puffy puppy eyes and said, “mommy, can we go out? I want to eat the noodles [Big Warrior] was eating.” So, off we went, out to the dining hall for dinner, and you know what? By the end of it all, my beautiful sunshine of a daughter did finally got herself together. She finished her dinner and went on to play with her eldest sister Big Warrior, and her friend Harry, whom I am so grateful for being with us tonight, because at least he kept Big Warrior occupied. One less kid to worry about 😅😅

 

It might have been the chamomile, it might have been the calm, gentle and constant cuddles that helped. Either way, I’m glad it’s finally past.

 

And that’s how I spend Mothers’ Day eve, folks! And truth be told, I wouldn’t want it any other way. Because days like these ground me as a mother. It makes me believe in my capabilities of mothering my children and being superwoman at the same time. Let’s face it, balancing a baby on your chest with one arm, making sure she is suckling the boobs without falling off, and cuddling your other octopus, oops I mean cranky toddler with the other, is no joke  I seriously thought I was superwoman. And to top it off, I was calm! Woo hoo, I’m awesome! *yes I’m feeling crazy at the moment*

 

Don’t get me wrong, most days my warriors are absolutely wonderful and just amazing little human beings. But I just wanted to share with fellow mommies (especially the new moms) some of my moments where not everything is perfect, and that it is okay that your Mother’s Day hasn’t been perfect. Mine wasn’t perfect on so many levels, but it was still perfect to me because although it was kinda shitty, I learned how to love my children even more through these imperfect times. And because I’m at peace with it, it is somehow a perfect Mothers’ Day eve for me. Oh, not to forget, getting showered with gifts from the children helped make it perfect too. ;p

 

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Remember, this too shall pass. They will grow up, move out and have a family of their own. And then, you’d wish to have more shitty days like these than none at all.

 

Well, that’s all for now, happy Mother’s Day to us mom! 😊

 

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P/s: for the record, this post took 38 minutes to finish so please excuse my grammatical errors, as I have no intentions to reread it and amend anything  😝

 

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Side note: Head over to SedapPlace to see how you can support for a good cause this Mothers’ Day in Perth!

My 2 year old won’t be learning her ABCs and 123s yet, and I’m perfectly okay with it

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Today is the first day of playgroup at Steiner for Little Warrior. She’s been waiting forever for this day. Having seen Big Warrior go in to class day in and day out, she’s often asked me when it would be her turn to be a big girl and go to school. Well, today is the day. 😊

 

While other kids are learning their ABCs and 123s, Little Warrior is learning about the world, through interacting with Mother Nature and listening to story time. And that’s perfectly okay. She’s busy learning the necessary human survival skills, that she might not necessarily use per se, but those traits are what will set her apart from the rest of her robotic peers. She gets to plant gardens and pick flowers, and find out how to work with Mother Nature and appreciate her beauty and resources. She gets to walk barefooted, climb trees, and occasionally get a glimpse of wildlife in the school’s backyard as we are fortunate enough to be surrounded by bushland. Like today, we had a beautiful owl visit us at the playgroup garden. It’s not everyday that one gets to see a wild owl upclose and personal. What an amazing experience for us!

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She doesn’t know her multiplication times table, nor can she write her own name yet, but that’s perfectly okay. She’s busy playing and learning more relevant things like how society works by interacting freely with her peers. They engage in a world of free play where they dictate how the playing goes, where it happens, and who gets to be involved in it. There’s no social pressure on how she’s suppose to be, what she’s suppose to say, or who’s she suppose to maintain good relationships with. She learns how to socialise and be part of a community without unnecessary social influences. She does chores, and learn how to work as a team with her playmates. She gets to learn how to make decisions pertaining to her life from an early age, instead of being helicoptered and told what to do all the time. She gets to learn that every action comes with a reaction, so the next time she knows what to expect when she does something.

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She doesn’t know her written ABCs yet, and she can’t recognise 123s, even though she can communicate as fluently as a 2 year old should. And that’s okay too. She learns how to express herself and be confident with her voice. She sings and says blessings. She learns about empathy and sees the goodness in the world. She will learn to appreciate mothers, fathers, and educators alike, because she will see with her own eyes how everyone respects each other at playgroup despite their age, financial background, and race differences.

 

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Sure, academic education is important. However, I think education about the self and play is equally important. If you don’t know how to be comfortable with your own skin, and be confident with your ability to make decisions, then you won’t go far. So many of our younger generations aren’t equipped enough to go against the tide and think outside the box, and just be different. Our current society is raising a future generation of robots, teens and young adults who follow the herd and do not question what is being taught. Do we really want that for our children? I don’t. I really don’t.

 

I’m prepared to face the insanity of having to reason with my 2 year old on why we don’t run around naked when outside the house, or teach my 5 year old all the proper names of her body so that she’s aware that nobody is allowed to touch her sacred body parts without her consent. I teach them to say no to hugs or kisses when they’re not up for it, even if it’s us or the grandparents asking. I teach them that it’s okay to say they don’t like certain food, as long as they’ve tried at least once. And I tell them it’s okay to reason with us if they feel the need to voice out their opinions.

 

There are so many things worthy of learning that aren’t academic. Little Warrior, like her sister Big Warrior, will not be officially educated in the academic sense until she turns 7 according to the Steiner system. I’m totally okay with it, proud even, because I know that like her sister, she will thrive and blossom into a wonderful little human being when the time comes.

 

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My darlings, it’s the little things that count…

My dearest daughters,

It’s Christmas Eve and we haven’t got any plans because mommy wasn’t in the mood to prepare anything as we weren’t sure when the stork planned to drop Nemo off to us. But it is the season to be thankful, and even though I’m thankful everyday for your existence, I still feel there’s no better time to let you know that I really really really appreciate you and that I’m truly blessed that you’re in my life.

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So… on this festive day where other children are running around playing and getting into the Christmas mood, we spent the morning cleaning the house, and washing the guest room bedsheets so that when your grandparents come next week, they won’t be stepping into a pig sty and that they’ll have a clean bed to sleep on. 😅

 

At a tender age of 5 and 2, I’m so proud and touched that you both have such good heads on your shoulders, and amazingly big hearts. You were so happy to help out with the cleaning, by taking out the sheets, sweeping the floor, throwing the dirty laundry into the wash, packing away your toys, etc, which made my whole morning of chores so much easier and enjoyable. You never once complained. Even though I silently think that it’s because you’re actually too young to understand what all the Christmas hype is about. LOL. But what touched me the most, was how receptive you were, helping me up whenever I had to kneel down to get stuff done. You knew it was difficult for me to stand back up whenever I’m seated on the floor (with Nemo growing big in my tummy). You would always try to lift me up with your tiny little bodies, fearing I would fall over because I seem to be out of balance most of the time. You would also both take turns sitting on each other’s lap because you didn’t want to hurt Nemo by sitting on mine.

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My little darlings, I don’t need multiple stars in your reward charts (thankfully this isn’t a practise at your school), or excellent Math grades on a piece of paper. Those aren’t important to me. What is important to me, and very honestly more important for you, is that you both have good hearts and strong emotional foundations to grow as a person. Have a kind heart, be empathetic, help others according to your capability, respect those who deserves it, and love those around you. Focus on these so-called little things, it’s how you are as a person that will bring you far in life, my children.

 

With your hearts full of gold, you will definitely go far and beyond. I can only pray that in your journey to adulthood, you’ll have more confidence to be kind, empathetic and being firm in what you believe is right (even if it means going against the tide). I pray that you’ll be happy always and not let anyone push you around into doing things that you’re unhappy or uncomfortable with (please learn how to say no, but that’s another story for another day). I pray that you will have the freedom to be able to chase your dreams, regardless of what society says. I pray that you will grow up to cherish your strong and amazing sister relationship, and don’t let anything come in between you, not even us, your parents.

 

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As I watch you both grow and blossom into beautiful strong young ladies, I couldn’t be prouder to call you my children. I just really wanted you to know that. And remember, it’s the little things that count.

 

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p/s Merry Christmas my little darlings! You’ve been such angels, I’m sure Santa has some surprises for you tonight. 😉

 

Eviction Notice

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Dear “Nemo”,

I hope you’ve enjoyed your 9 months stay at your current rental premise. This is to remind you that your lease will be expiring on the 8/1/2017 and you shall be evicted after that.

You officially still have a few more weeks to go, but I just wanted to let you know that I have another place set up, waiting for you when this lease is up. Seeing that you’ve been a really good tenant, I will gladly waive all charges for any damages you’ve caused to the current premise – water leakage, wear and tear from your late night partying, extra energy consumption, storage, etc.

Just remember to pack and take all your belongings with you as you will not be able to return to the current premise after you leave.

If possible, kindly give me one day’s notice so that I can prepare your new home for you in advance. If it makes it easier for you, I (and a few helpers) will be more than willing to help you move closer to the end of lease date.

Thank you for choosing to stay at “Mom’s 24/7 Air BnB”. I hope you have had good memories during your stay here. Take care and enjoy your next journey!

 

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Crossing the Rainbow Bridge

They say every school is the same. But I’m here to tell you they’re not. Waldorf stresses on the importance of childhood that it is impossible for outsiders to understand, unless you’re part of the Waldorf family.

Today, we got to experience a ceremony that celebrates Little Miss 5’s birth. The story that was told today, The Rainbow Bridge story, was absolutely beautiful. It is a blessing to be able to sit through the story of self worth, love, joy, and the pure sacredness of a child’s birth.

Once upon a time there was a Little Angel who was up in the heavens and she was very happy there. She looked at the beautiful colours and listened to the lovely music, and that was where she belonged. But one day the clouds parted in heaven and she saw the beautiful green earth below with all the people happily playing and working and she suddenly longed to go there and see what it was like. She saw all the rainbow colours of the earth, She saw butterflies visiting flowers and birds flying in the air. They seemed to be beckoning her. She saw fish swimming in the sea and all the different plants that covered the earth. She saw children climbing trees running and jumping in the meadows and walking through sand and leaves. It was all so beautiful!

So she said to her Big Angel, ‘Please, may I go down to earth now?” But her Big Angel looked at her and said, “No, it is too soon. You must wait a little while yet”. So the child went and was happy and soon forgot about the earth. Then one day again she saw a glimpse of the earth through the clouds again. She saw mother and fathers doing their work. She saw bakers and engineers and writers and farmers. She saw mothers and fathers loving their
children. Then she saw a beautiful mother with love and longing in her heart for a child and she asked her angel now, “May I go to her?”

The Big Angel said, “Soon, but you must prepare to go through the House of the Sun, the Stars, and the Moon, and over the Rainbow Bridge before you can go over to Earth.”

So with determination, the little Angel went to the House of the Sun, where she was given the gift of courage, which was placed under her heart. Next she went to the House of the Stars, where she was given the gift of Wisdom, which were placed under the soles of her feet. Lastly, she went to the House of the Moon, where she was given the gift of twinkle in her eyes, so that she might always see the humour in life.

Nearing the Rainbow Bridge, the Big Angel said to the Little Angel, “The gifts you have received from the Sun, the Stars and the Moon will help you with the work you have chosen to do on the Earth. Now you are ready.”

So the Little Angel travelled over the Rainbow Bridge that stretched forth from heaven to earth, and straight into the strong loving arms of her earth Mommy and Daddy.

She opened her eyes, and mesmerised everyone around her. It was then she received her first gift on earth, the gift of her name – Leann, which ironically means Angel, or one of sheer perfection.

There are many versions to this story. But this is the closest that I could remember from today.

How many of us have had such meaningful birthday celebrations at school? I know I didn’t. I know my husband didn’t. But I’m glad our children will be able to experience one of the best childhood there is on earth through their school, and that is to be surrounded by pure love and people who truly appreciate them as they are.

 

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Starting the day with a smile

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Or maybe not. LOL

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How gorgeous is this cake?

Definitely a birthday to remember…

 

 

Reblog: A day in the life of a Waldorf kid

The Waldorf playgroup on Thursdays morning at West Coast Steiner School starts off like this…
A small playground in the school yard
All classroon signs are beautifully handmade or drawn
We are greeted with a different scent every week – lavender, rose, etc…
All toys are made from natural materials such as wood, logs, ceramics…
Wooden instruments…
Wool and knitted soft toys…
cloth and handmade dolls…
Parents who attend playgroup are required to bring a piece of fruit each to cut them up and share it during morning tea
Playgroup is not only a place to play, but a place to bond and get lots of cuddles
How cool is this little guy’s toenails? LOL
One of our favourite moments of the day, bread making!
Our lovely Playgroup Coordinator, who’s been absolutely amazing at guiding us through playgroup with the Waldorf philosophy
Each parent is also given a task to do for the day
It’s a tradition to light a candle to give thanks…
Morning tea time outside the class garden. Table and stools all made out of wooden logs. How awesome and nature friendly!
Our share of fruits for morning tea… yums!
Little NAPB enjoying her fruits “kampung” style! 😉
 Mommy R & Little R
Thank you for being such an inspiration to me to want to be a super mom
Kids get to take part in daily chores to their interest and abilities
All in all, the Waldorf playgroup is an ideal place for parents to grow together with their children, it’s about connecting with your child as a whole. It’s very cosy and family orientated, compared to a Montessori playgroup, where independent play is more encouraged. Waldorf keeps the children’s mind opened and promotes willingness to learn through their own initiatives, which is what I’m hoping for Big Warrior. We’re already seeing some positive changes in Big Warrior’s attitude towards socialising, hopefully she will continue to blossom and flourish as time goes by.
*This was written in 2014. Fast forward 2016, Big Warrior’s been with the Waldorf School for almost 2 years. And the difference we’ve seen in her is just amazing. She may not be learning her ABCs and 123s in school at the moment, and won’t be till she’s in Year 1, but the little things that been cultivated into her as a person is undeniably valuable. Learning to share her load with house chores, being a team player, showing kindness and empathy, reaping the harvest that she helped sow, etc… these are things that the common public education do not put emphasis on. However, these are the important building block of being a successful human being. I’ve never pushed her to learn academically, but even without me (or the school) teaching her, she’s already well-versed with her alphabets and can count up to 30, which to me is a big surprise because she did her own learning through listening and observing.
I will be forever grateful to have stumble upon a Waldorf Steiner school for my children. My only hope now is that they will cherish their blessings being a Waldorf child and growing up without unnecessary social pressure.
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Reblog: Great Expectations

Most parents have great expectations of their children. But many don’t expect the same from themselves. Ironic, isn’t it? Parents expect their children to treat others with respect, to know how to share, and to act accordingly during playtime and sleep time (and all the time). But the real question is, do you (as a parent) even practice what you preach?

I’m a firm believer that all children are born pure and good. It is under the guidance of their parents that will eventually lead to the flourishing of goodness in their little big hearts. If you practice what you preach, chances are your child will follow suit.

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Don’t just tell a child to be kind, sharing and all things good; show them and lead by example. If you’re always arguing with your partner on who’s right, or snatching toys away from your kid when he refuses to share, you’re indirectly telling him that it is of utmost importance who wins in the end (in an argument or a fight), and taking things by force is an acceptable thing to do when things don’t happen your way.

Actions speak louder than words. When you portray negative behaviour in front of your child, they will learn. And trust me when I say, they will learn FAST. At two years of age, my little munchkin is absorbing her surrounds like a sponge. Children learn best by imitating you, the parent. And whatever that you do on a day to day basis will indirectly be how you mould your child’s character and behaviour. As Clarence B. Kelland said, “My father didn’t tell me how to live; he lived and let me watch him do it.”

Don’t expect a kid to know the meaning of respect if you don’t raise him with respect. I’ve seen parents who smack and “publicly humiliate” their kids for the littlest of things. That’s not just disrespecting your child as a small human being, that’s just uncivilised in my humble opinion. You wouldn’t smack your friend over some small issue, but you don’t hesitate to do just that to your own child, that’s just stupid.

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You can’t teach a kid the concept of sharing when the first thing you do is to snatch away his toys when he refuses to share it, with a stranger. Yes, you might be good friends with a fellow mother, but don’t expect your child to naturally be long time friends with her kids. And don’t expect him to be as willing as you are to share, because heck, even you might not be that willing to share your stuff with someone you’ve just met. So no, don’t expect something from your kid when you might not even be able to live up to that expectation yourself. Or like Sarah W Caron says, “Don’t be a hypocrite, mama!

And how do you define appropriate behaviour? Expecting a two year old to sit through a two hour dinner is like expecting a medical student to sit through a mathematic convention. If your kid can actually sit in his high chair quietly and obediently for two hours and not put up a fuss, that’s not normal, I’m serious, you probably need to get him checked. That maybe an appropriate behaviour for an adult, but it is not for a kid. Appropriate behaviour for a two year old is to want to run around, explore and parallel play. That’s normal. And really, even you might want to walk around to socialise with your friends during dinner functions, why would you deny your kid the same benefit?

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Seriously, parents, enlighten me will you? I know many of you aren’t like that, but I have come across some who are. Why in the world would you expect so much for a person who’s been around for less than two years, yet expect so much less for people who’ve been around for at least thirty to forty years? Cos I really don’t understand it at all. Ugh. Bleh.

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